Practice With Your Om-ies
by Karen Rigsby
“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.”
― W. Clement Stone, writer, philosopher and philanthropist
If you read our testimonials on the Inner Fire website, you will see that many of our yogis came to practice as a result of an invitation from a friend or partner. This is a true manifestation of friendship and love – to share that for which you are grateful.
When something benefits you, you want your loved ones to benefit from it as well.
What’s even more constructive and valuable is to practice alongside your friends, loved ones, and your partner. There’s an energy exchange in a yoga class that’s tangible but hard to describe. There is a synergy that is especially therapeutic when you experience it alongside a loved one.
I do not understand quantum mechanics (or anything quantum for that matter), but I do know - from practicing and from teaching - that there is a palpable “vibe” to a gathering of yogis. This vibrational energy moves and shifts during a class, and in that stirring of energy and offering of intention, there is great healing on a cellular (maybe even atomic) level.
This is why the ending savasana is so important and so worthy of our time… that lingering in the space - not just the physical space of the yoga room, but the new vibration, the headspace we create by our practice and the heart space we make with our asanas connected to intentions. Letting that crystallize within us girds us with a certain strength of spirit before we walk out of the room and are accosted by our agendas (and the agenda of others).
Why wouldn’t we then want our loved ones to experience that as well – right next to us – a strong spirit, a de-cluttering of the mind and more heart space?! And experiencing that together - in tandem – is an enhanced gift of the practice.
Another gift of yoga is how it sneaks up on us, changing us in little ways while we are trying to navigate our world and the narrative we tell ourselves. In my personal practice, I am (in the process of) slowly letting go of my desire to change people - my husband in particular. It’s interesting that in the days between my practicing, I gravitate toward the control button again, twisting and turning it every which way, (sometimes, repetitively whacking, striking and bashing the control button) in an attempt to get the control, and therefore the results, that I want. (I’ll let you know when that works out for me.)
But then, I practice…which changes the lens through which I see my husband. And suddenly, I realize that the practice has changed ME!
And rolling up my mat, I resolve to accept, encourage, and love him (and nudge him toward a yoga practice – because maybe THAT will change him into who I want him to be).
Oops, I did it again. I mean - Namaste, Babe.
See what I mean? I need to go back to the mat more often so I can let go – for realsies. Or maybe, just never get off my mat?!
But imagine, if we could encourage and nudge our friends, partners, even the less favored individuals in our lives, to practice yoga. How much less discord would we experience? Beyond that, how much more benefit and harmony would we sow in our relationships, homes, schools, neighborhoods, work environments, communities, earth, universe, multiverse…etc?!
Another perk from exhorting “our people” to practice yoga with us is that we may find ourselves opening up - if even just a modicum – which in turn creates more connection. When we are in a yoga practice feeling more exposed and raw, our nature is to quickly cover that up, find child’s pose so we can wipe the tears (under the pretense of wiping sweat), hope no one saw, and then shove the vulnerability back down - deep into the pocket of our hearts.
But what if we stay open and linger in that vulnerability long enough to expose our hearts to our loved one who sweat buckets next to us and perhaps also feels vulnerable after the practice? This just might allow for a galvanizing conversation that strengthens our bond with each other. Maybe it’s nothing heroic like a tough conversation but perhaps it’s just a touch. “I see you, raw, teary, sweaty.”
Many of you know our Inner Fire Yogi, Christina Sheehan and remember her husband, Karl Harter. Individually, they each had a strong yoga practice, but what always struck me as inspirational was the fact that they practiced over a thousand classes TOGETHER in the back row of our studio. Their partnership and love was sustained and strengthened by their consistent and persistent yoga practice despite many challenges that they faced together with Karl’s cancer treatments.
Many years ago, this was what first inspired me to encourage my husband to practice yoga, too. Previous to knowing Karl and Christina, I felt protective of my time on my mat, wanting to experience it by myself. This was MY thing. Inner Fire was MY tribe. I learned from Karl and Christina that something so special should be shared, not hoarded. I learned from knowing them that yoga strengthens your communication and your connection, and lends itself as a launching pad for new exchanges and novel patterns of communication and a stronger bond.
When we practice in community, we also learn lessons vicariously - alongside our loved ones. Another lesson I learned from practicing with Karl and Christina was that happiness is a choice. Karl was happy by nature; hard wired in his DNA – but he was also happy by choice – heedlessly optimistic even despite the rigors of his cancer treatments. Christina’s warm and peaceful demeanor also reflected a decision to be content and calm in the midst of the circulating vortex around their lives.
These were willful and intentional choices they practiced often on their mats. While cancer, and the treatment thereof, took his eye, much of the bones of his face, on several occasions, his hair, and to some degree ALL 5 of his senses, cancer could not take Karl’s dignity.
Karl held no regard for the stigma of scars. He wore his – and there were many – without shame. He wore his cancer scars as a badge of grit and of resilience with his sense of humor – the one sense cancer could not steal from him. And in doing so, he inspired all of us.
We are so prone to want to look far better than we actually are on the inside. And we have become adept at many strategies for doing so. But in so doing, in shrouding our scars and our imperfections so that no one can see them, we not only suppress our own resilience, but we cloak what just might inspire someone else.
We also, in hiding our scars, armor up what makes us vulnerable. We do this in order to protect ourselves, but in doing so, we also lose the opportunity to find some much needed connection to someone else --either for their sake or for our own.
Karl and Christina knew that in exposing those scars, they would find curative connection – not only to each other but to the Inner Fire community, and that would be its own therapy and provide its own healing. And they BOTH inspired me to continue to invite my husband to practice. He’s made it a handful of times in 18 years…
What would it look like if we turned our selves inside out and wore our scars on the outside…like Karl did – unabashedly – and practiced with the important people in our lives?
*We might inspire each other with our own resilience…and find inspiration from the yogi next to us.
*We might be less judgmental since our scars are just as visible as those of whom we would otherwise be prone to judge.
*We might find more compassion, more understanding, and more connection – and consequently more wholeness.
So, in practicing with our friends and partners and in baring our souls a bit more, we might just find that we inspire both our individual and collective healing and resilience.
In expressing our humble warrior on the mat, we honor the fact that we don’t have all the answers and that we have scars, both internal and private as well as external and obvious. In opening up our proud warrior, we celebrate our gifts, accomplishments, victories and strengths.
While this is an expression of self-awareness, self-love and self-care, it’s purpose is two-fold: We also practice in order to make room for others…to honor their humilities and challenges, and to be aware of and to acknowledge their gifts. That is where we find joy in the bhakti – in service to others. How wonderful would it be if they were right next to us on their mats, too?
“This life is for loving, sharing, learning, smiling, caring, forgiving, laughing, hugging, helping, dancing, wondering, healing, and even more loving. I choose to live life this way. I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, 'aw shit, he's up!’”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Share your yoga. Bring a buddy to a free class on our Open House September 25th. As the great yogi Snoop Dogg says, “It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none.”