Recommitting To My Yoga Practice: My Personal Revolution Story

By Erin Van Alstine

When the pandemic hit back in March of 2020, I decided to do a yoga challenge. I figured that I had nothing else to occupy my time with, having already cleaned my house from top to bottom numerous times along with every closet, cupboard, and drawer that I had meticulously organized. What better time was there than when I was stuck at home for days on end to get back into a consistent yoga practice??

Don’t get me wrong, I was still doing yoga regularly when quarantine started, but my 3-4 times a week practice had realistically become once or maybe twice a week, at best. I was teaching a couple of classes during the week prior to Covid - and while I do love teaching yoga, it doesn’t have the same benefit for me that practicing yoga does.

So in March of 2020, I jumped back into my yoga practice full force by committing to 30 days of Ashtanga yoga - the full primary series.

Now if you’re not familiar with the primary series, it is a rigorous, 90-minute practice that includes more than 80 vinyasas. Great!! I thought. I thoroughly enjoyed it for about the first week. My mental health was pretty good, and considering that at the time we were in full lockdown mode, I was happy with that.

About two weeks in I started to suffer from sore elbows (weird, right?). It wasn't bad enough that I quit doing yoga, but it was enough to be obnoxious. I made it through my 30 days, with some nagging aches and pains, but I did it. 

On day 35 I stopped doing Ashtanga yoga completely. I never really picked it up again, at least not yet. I still love the series, but it became an All Or Nothing challenge. “Do the whole sequence or it doesn’t count” was what I was hearing in my brain, even though I know better! I would never encourage one of my students to practice the way that I was practicing. Why was I so hard on myself? 

Though I made it through the 30 days, I didn’t feel very good about it. My body was aching, and doing yoga started to feel like a chore more than a pleasure. Over the next couple of years, my yoga practice was inconsistent. I did yoga when I needed to plan a class or when I needed to move my body, but I wasn’t dedicated to it. 

I often spent my time working out instead, thinking that I felt the same benefits from my workouts as I did with yoga. I bought a bicycle shortly after my 35-day stint and started cycling and kickboxing at a local gym to replace my yoga practice, both of which I still do and enjoy. 

As quarantine lifted and the yoga studio opened back up I did start going to more yoga classes, but it was nothing that I would consider consistent.

Fast forward to January of 2022 when, for the first time ever, I decided to commit to Inner Fire Yoga’s Winter Personal Revolution. I’m not sure how I’ve been at IFY this long without ever doing a revolution, but somehow I have. I watched friends of mine and other instructors do them and they always seemed to feel great, but I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get to class often enough.

My decision to do the challenge was one that I made on a whim, and I was completely uncertain if I could actually make it happen with my busy schedule. But regardless, I signed up! 

I’ve been experiencing some burnout over the last few months in my career and with my workout routine. My stress levels have been really high and I have been dealing with some nagging soreness and injuries from years of working out, including hip pain and shin splints. Being unsure about how often I could get to the studio, I opted for the 4 classes per week option (as opposed to 5).

For the first couple of weeks, the challenge really didn’t feel that hard. Perhaps that was because we were just coming off of the holidays and my schedule wasn’t at its busiest? I made it to class regularly and I started to notice how good my body was feeling. The aches and pains that I had been experiencing started to disappear. I began to sleep better, so I was waking up in the morning feeling clear-headed, and my ability to focus became stronger.

About a month into the challenge, I realized that yoga was becoming a huge priority for me. I was changing my schedule to allow myself the opportunity to get to class. My four days a week practice was beginning to be more like five and even six days a week. It was never really a big deal or a big change - it was just something that happened gradually. On days when I did not attend a yoga class, I found that I benefited from meditating. My body craved the stillness and quiet even if it was only for ten minutes at home.

The great thing about the personal revolution was that it felt like a very natural change. At times I can become obsessive about getting exercise, but I started to notice that the obsessive and worried feelings lifted. I’m not sure if it just became easier for me to get to class with all of the different scheduling options that have become available, or if my stress levels declined from all the yoga that I was doing. Either way, the feeling went away!

The other thing that I noticed was that I wasn’t beating myself up if I didn’t do all of the vinyasas or if I didn’t nail every pose in class. Again, I would never tell my students to be so hard on themselves, but rarely up until this point have I ever followed my own advice. I am my own worst critic! 

All of this time that I was spending on my yoga mat really had me pondering that voice inside of my head and the stories I was telling myself. I can have so much compassion for others, but why do I not hold that compassion for myself? I have spent the last few weeks of my personal revolution trying to let go of those expectations that I hold on to myself and allowing myself to take it easy when I need to.

By far my favorite benefit from doing the personal revolution is the relationships that I have gained with the other practitioners at Inner Fire Yoga. This was the least expected benefit for me, though I have always known that the community cultivated at IFY is really something special.

Winters in Wisconsin can be rough as many of us know. Most years I struggle during January and February with a lack of motivation and some seasonal sadness. I am extraverted (which I REALLY learned during the pandemic) and though I do value my time alone here and there, I especially enjoy my time spent with others! I love seeing people, talking to people, hearing about what is going on in their lives, and really getting to know and understand people as individuals.

Throughout the personal revolution, there were many people that I developed a much closer relationship or friendship. Seeing other yogis day in and day out, multiple times a week, was wonderful - I didn’t feel the typical winter blues that I normally do. 

It also helped me to stay accountable because when I told someone I would be at a certain class, I was at that class! Being around other people who are experiencing similar benefits enough to get to yoga daily really motivated me to get to MY yoga daily. I’m not sure who said it, but the saying “you are who you surround yourself with” is very true. Some of these people have become close friends with who I now hang out with. In my mind, I can never have too many friends!

Yoga is often the catalyst for change. We don’t always see it coming, but as we start to tune in to our bodies and what we are feeling on a daily basis, we begin to see how the things that we do every day can affect us in such a massive way. 

In the last month, I made the decision to cut my hours drastically at my stressful job. It’s something that my body or my intuition has been telling me to do. However, I have been too scared to leave my job with good financial security in order to begin developing my career in real estate. 

On my yoga mat, I don’t let fear hinder me. I push through whatever fear I may be feeling, knowing that it is only a temporary feeling and that it will pass. In my classes, I often talk about the ability to take the “yoga” off of our mats and into our daily lives. For me, leaning into the fear of failure is doing just that.

One thing I know is that even if it doesn’t work out the way that I want it to, I will figure it out. Just like my yoga practice, it doesn’t always go the way I think it’s going to, but I’ve learned to be flexible (pun intended) and one way or another, everything always works out.