Inner Fire Yoga and Me
by Marit Sathrum
On March 13th we took away the yoga props, propped open the doors, placed spray bottles with bleach water in every room, ramped up the cleaning and disinfecting, and watched the news about the virus and social distancing requirements change by the minute. At noon on Sunday March 15th, a few days prior to the governor's orders to close, we shuttered all three yoga studio locations out of concern for the safety of our community. My world became about saving the life of my “third child”, Inner Fire Yoga. I was intensely focused and on high alert. On this day, the tsunami of overwhelming emotions that I’m still dealing with - as are many - began when I laid off 65 beloved part-time teachers and receptionists. (One thing I was glad for at that moment was that the state required teachers be paid as employees versus independent contractors in 2008 after an audit, therefore teachers could qualify for unemployment.) Additionally, I decided my daughter would not return to school the next day despite the announcement that school would remain open through Tuesday.
On Monday March 16 I called the East and West studio landlords and requested rent abatement (they both agreed to push off April rent to the future). I called my insurance agent and found out the business interruption insurance that I’ve been paying for nearly two decades didn’t include coverage for closure due to a pandemic. I requested a reduction in worker’s comp and liability coverage costs. I called the banker and requested a (second) deferral on the East studio construction loan, which was granted. Michael, Operations Manager, notified all of the vendors and took them off autopay so that cash flow could be managed. Hannah, Studio Manager, worked hard to cancel classes in our MindBody schedule, and to create appropriate, compassionate communications to our community both internally and externally. Decisions were made as to what were considered essential services to Inner Fire Yoga right now: MindBody, Constant Contact, management staying employed, etc.
That week, I made the decision to close the Downtown studio location permanently since it had skirted break-even from its inception, and it experienced a large net loss in 2019 due to increased competition in the downtown market. There was no way that this studio could stay open - with the UW students gone for what we believed would be the rest of the school year. I felt sad, but honestly, also relieved. I called two attorneys: how do I announce my exit to the Downtown landlord? How do I protect myself, my family, and my business in this mess? I was feeling intense anger, an emotion new to me.
Michael, Hannah and I participated in several free business strategy webinars via Zoom. During one of these, we were made aware of a Mindbody partner company named FitGrid that was scrambling to create an online video streaming platform integrated with MindBody. FitGrid offered its own free strategy session that we attended on Friday March 20. After that session, I announced to Michael and Hannah that we needed to work through the weekend to get this up and running ASAP. We had to act immediately and in full force in order to retain our yoga community. All three of us worked through a second weekend in a row, through intense stress, fatigue, sadness, irritation, frustration, and disbelief, all to preserve Inner Fire Yoga.
We accomplished it in two days. Our first two virtual yoga classes were offered for FREE on Monday March 23, 100 spaces in each. On Sunday, they sold out in two hours! We had frustrated members who were unable to secure spots: good news, bad news. Beginning on Tuesday March 24, the classes were no longer free. We had between 40-60 paying yogis in each class (we have a fraction of that now). Our community was “showing up”, and we were feeling like we did the right thing to scramble for two weeks straight. Hannah worked diligently on the communications, training and strategy. Michael worked on the back-end technical, facilities and strategy. I worked on saving the company: reading, watching, emailing, managing and analyzing cash flow, webinars, phone calls, meetings, communications with staff, clients, banker, landlords, agents, etc. I had to make multiple, sizable decisions that I never could have dreamed I’d ever have to make.
On Tuesday March 24, with intense sadness, I canceled our spring break trip to LA to visit my 19 year old son Erik, who was just six months into his adult life without a parent nearby. My daughter cried, sad to not be able to visit her best friends she made while attending middle school in Los Angeles. I was feeling sad, overwhelmed, confused, exhausted and scared.
On Wednesday March 25, we set out to empty the Downtown studio space. Wearing a mask and gloves for the first time, I rented a U-Haul truck, and with the help of my 14 year old daughter, Michael, and Michael’s wife Mary (Hannah was in quarantine because her husband had a slight fever - they are incidentally healthy), the four of us filled up an 17’ truck to the brim, and placed it all in storage. After seven hours of heavy physical labor, we left a clean and empty beloved studio that served the UW community for 8 years. I feel sad when I see the big hand-painted logo on the blue wall when I drive by.
Hannah and Michael were able to take the following weekend off, and additional time the following two weeks to make up for the extraordinary effort they made during the previous two weeks. I estimated I clocked a third week of 100 hours of work. All the while I was checking my blood pressure due to hypertension, a diagnosis I’ve had for four years. It spikes when stressed. It was abnormally high despite taking medicine: a warning that I needed to calm down and focus on my health.
The following week, dozens of Unemployment Insurance letters rolled in, with dozens more following each week. My email had over 1000 emails in the Primary Inbox for the first time ever. (I’m very diligent about keeping my email clean, to keep stress down.) I worked intently trying to figure things out: virtual class schedules, technical issues, facility needs (turn off the water and electricity?), cash flow, unemployment, taxes, my health, studio mail, facilities, dog, orthodontics, studio bills, personal bills, mom’s health, daughter’s school, son’s health, etc.
On Sunday April 5, I drove out to the Owl’s Nest for much needed respite. It was a reasonably nice day and I needed time outdoors at my favorite spot. The Owl’s Nest is a 115 year old farmhouse on 5 acres that I own near Cross Plains, and is where Inner Fire Yoga holds its teacher training program. When it’s not being used for teacher training, it's rented through Airbnb. Every Airbnb reservation through April had already been canceled, and I forecasted the same would be true for May (my forecast was accurate). On that day I decided to move from the downtown two-bedroom condo I was renting to the Owl’s Nest in order to save the farm, literally. On Monday April 6, I called the moving company. Tuesday through Thursday was spent packing all of our possessions. On Friday April 10, my daughter and I moved to the farm.
During this time, I taught three yoga classes each week, I trained and observed the yoga instructors teaching on Zoom as we were still working through some technical and scheduling issues, and I administered most of the yoga classes (signed them in and monitored for technical difficulties). I continued to wade through the government's bail-out options, hundreds of emails, UI forms, etc. Of course Hannah and Michael were working to help with everything Inner Fire Yoga. What I did not do, and felt bad about, was help my daughter with her new normal: home- and Zoom-schooling at the farm, over a phone line no less (no cable in the country). I saw folks on social media going for long walks, baking bread, working on jigsaw puzzles, and posting sweet family photos. Each night, I fell into bed feeling disoriented, sad and utterly exhausted. I was admittedly, and un-yogi-like, feeling sorry for myself.
As owner of Inner Fire Yoga, I am doing what I can to save it. I am using my own retirement savings to cover cash flow (since I am a business owner, I do not have a 401K and thus most of my retirement savings is in a liquid savings account). I have been doing this for over a year now, actually. And I plan to continue to do so until Inner Fire Yoga is flowing in abundance again, or until the money runs out. The goal is for Inner Fire Yoga to make it through this. If it does, it will be stronger for it.
Now for the hard part. The truth is that despite reducing expenses to the bare minimum, the fixed expenses (rent, utilities, phone, insurance, management payroll, payroll taxes, merchant fees, interest on the construction loan, subscription services such as MindBody Online, legal, accounting, etc) are multiple tens of thousands of dollars a month. The future revenues are unclear and declining. Deferred expenses and net losses are piling up as liabilities. The Payroll Protection Plan loan money is, in theory, nice. BUT the terms are such that for the PPP to be forgiven, the business must illustrate payroll restoration by June 30th. In my estimation, Inner Fire Yoga’s payroll won’t be restored for a long time, long past June 30th. And what that money is needed for, really, is to pay the overhead fixed costs to keep the business alive (only 25% of PPP is allowed to pay certain allowed fixed costs). I expect that the PPP money will not be forgiven, or only a small percentage forgiven for Inner Fire Yoga. As a loan, the payback will begin in November and occur over 18 months, meaning Inner Fire Yoga will have large monthly PPP loan payments in addition to the East studio construction loan payments. This creates a heavy financial load in addition to what was already a burdensome one, at the point when Inner Fire Yoga will likely be working hard to rebuild its business. Therefore, I plan to return any PPP loan money once I find out how much is qualified to be forgiven, so as not to add to Inner Fire Yoga’s financial burden.
The East side studio is lovely. East is the fifth studio I’ve built and, to brag a little bit, the experience shows. Many yogis who have taught and practiced there have expressed how much they love it. East’s infancy was rough, it experienced a six figure net loss in its first year. The rent is expensive, being in a brand new development, and the construction loan is big. Because of its tough first year, I moved back to Madison from LA in August 2019 to save my business. I was happy to be back, to be living conveniently downtown, for Annie to be a freshman at West High School, to be teaching Hot Yoga again, to be breathing clean air. By winter, both the East and the Downtown studios had turned a corner. In February, East reached one of our goals of at least 100 people in a single day, almost tripling the average daily attendance experienced in its first winter. East was beginning to soar! In addition, the downtown studio was thriving with over-full classes almost every evening, West was as strong as it had been in a long time, and teacher training had taken a turn for the better. We were in a groove, the future looked rosy, and I was finally breathing a sigh of relief. Then the unforeseeable: a pandemic.
Most people understand that “main street” entrepreneurship is a labor of love. No one opens a small public service business to primarily make money (if they do, they’ll very likely fail quickly). Most people do it because they love something. In my case I love Hot Yoga. The labor of love which is small business ownership comes with high risk: the investment involved to open, the responsibility of human resources, payroll, cash flow, providing a valuable service to deserving patrons, staying modern, and of course the inherent liabilities. With most small business owners, the leases and construction loans are personally guaranteed. For me, this amounts to over $900,000 in exposure at this point in time. All for the love of Hot Yoga.
A bit of history... Inner Fire Yoga opened on Oct. 14th, 2002. Despite the first five years of the business being touch and go, from 2008-2012 it experienced excellent success just after my initial studio moved to the current West side location in 2007. I didn’t know it at the time, but Inner Fire Yoga was a phenomenon: a monopoly in Madison on the front edge of an awakening to yoga practice as a legitimate physical and mental wellness practice. Some people even drove for hours to take a yoga class at Inner Fire Yoga, the first luxury yoga studio in WI that offered Hot and Power Yoga in two heated rooms. Inner Fire Yoga seeded the city and state with new yoga studios. In 2012, Inner Fire Yoga began losing market share to new yoga studios opening in and around Madison. Around 2015, boutique and big box fitness took over and there were one - or two - fitness options on nearly every block, including cycling, Barre, personal training, Cross Fit, Pilates, HIIT, etc. Inner Fire Yoga’s revenue and margin experienced a steep decline during these years. Prices were driven down by competition, attendance declined, and expenses climbed as they always seem to do. The fact is, the decline in revenue and margin over the recent years partly drove my decision to expand and open the East studio. As a single mother of two children, paying for health insurance and healthcare out of pocket (talk about higher costs) and needing to save for retirement, an increase in my income was essential. Health and abundance for me, my family and my yoga community was my intent behind the expansion. Besides, the desire for a successful entrepreneur to expand is natural. But sadly, the timing of the pandemic coming soon after an expensive expansion, without having had enough time to grow a strong base of committed yogis at this new location, conveys undue strain and hardship during this terrible time of forced closure.
Eighteen years of experience as an entrepreneur brings a great deal of wisdom. Inner Fire Yoga has a strong management team, solid processes in place, an excellent TM brand, a strong reputation, very low employee turnover, and a solid long-time base of members. I had considered opening an East side studio location seven different times over fifteen years. When I made the decision to finally open at the Marling, there were no Hot Yoga classes being offered on the near East side, plus the East Washington Avenue development corridor was “growing up” in a hurry. The Marling developers sought me out. They wanted a yoga studio, had done their due diligence, and invited Inner Fire Yoga into their development. It was actually very serendipitous and things went fairly smoothly in the negotiations and construction. Why wouldn’t we want to offer our amazing Hot Yoga services to Madison Eastsiders? How could we go wrong? It seemed like such a perfect opportunity in so many ways (plus free indoor parking)!
Personally speaking, I’ve experienced several of life’s most stressful moments in recent years. I moved three times in three years. All three times, it was an heroic effort. In the summer of 2017, I moved to LA to save my son’s education - believing that a performing arts high school with a good jazz program would be “the thing” he needed to get inspired and finish high school. In August of 2019, I moved back to Madison to save Inner Fire Yoga after the tough first year at East. Just a few weeks ago I moved out to the Owl’s Nest to literally save the farm. I am working now to save Inner Fire Yoga. I am not doing it alone, I have the help of Michael and Hannah. In addition, many wonderful Inner Fire Yogis are showing up: teachers, receptionists, trade workers, and beloved yoga students. Our community was and is strong.
Right now, I am verifiably overwhelmed and this all feels impossible. I alone hold 100% of the risk and responsibility of my home, the livelihood and health of my family, of my children, of my business and its community. Great feats have been accomplished during the last eighteen years of single motherhood and entrepreneurship. The rewards have been wonderful, yet the cost has been high, including that to my health. And now: am I able to save Inner Fire Yoga? Are WE able to save Inner Fire Yoga? Are the wealthy banks, insurance companies and organizations willing and able to save main street small businesses? Is Madison, Wisconsin and/or our national government eager and able to take the right measures to get us through this, to keep us healthy not just in body but with the ability to restart without excess financial stress?
One of the main reasons why Inner Fire Yoga has been successful is because I like things organized, clean, wrapped up. It’s a reason why I gravitated to Hot Yoga: It makes sense, it’s neat, no distractions, it works extremely well, and it relieves anxiety. I opened Inner Fire Yoga to serve the community with a proven, popular, healing style of yoga that I loved. Over the years I’ve seen countless people who were experiencing angst, depression, and other modern maladies, come into the hot room and “sweat it out”. I’ve seen a myriad of lives transformed for the better. Now, I find myself sitting at the farm kitchen table looking out at the great burr oak tree wondering, "How did I get here? How did I end up in my late fifties, solely bearing the burdens of parenthood and business ownership, feeling like a bad parent, working intense and long hours under duress, watching my personal (retirement) savings dwindle to shore up my business, steeped in anger, worry and sadness? I am a yogi! Shouldn’t I be able to find equanimity in difficult situations?!"
Yes I am a yogi, albeit a human one. This has been a traumatic experience, and not just for me. My response is a normal human response under these circumstances: grief, rage, anger, self pity, bargaining, sadness, and (hopefully soon) acceptance and rebirth. For me, a meditation practice has become a central tool. Through my meditation and yoga practices, and by spending time outdoors and in the company of my joyful daughter, my inner fire is being reignited, I can feel my energy grow and burn brighter. I am uplifted by the faces and names I see on the Inner Fire Yoga Zoom screen. I am heartened by the people who love Inner Fire Yoga: the employees, the trade workers, all of the yogis who are paying their monthly membership fees - some even if they are not attending our virtual yoga classes, because they want to and can support their beloved yoga studio.
Certainly, what we all have learned from this experience is that there are no guarantees, the future is completely unknown. But because I love Inner Fire Yoga and because I possess the wisdom of an experienced yoga studio owner, I have hope! Hundreds of Inner Fire Yogis share the same hope and desire: to get back into the hot room and sweat it out, together. Collectively this is powerful energy! I believe that we can come back together on our yoga mats, we can make it through this as a yoga community. Inner Fire Yoga is strong, and we must try our best, we must reach our highest to save Inner Fire Yoga. And hopefully our community organizations, systems and governments will continue to find useful ways to help us get back on our mats together.
No matter what happens, I am grateful for my health, my children, this crazy world, my mom and siblings, my friends, delicious food, clean air, cool water, the twisted old oak out my kitchen window, the birds on the feeders, my dog Phoebe, Inner Fire Yoga and its incredible yoga community. I can confidently say that it is love that drove the creation of Inner Fire Yoga, and it is the love of many hearts that comprise and sustain our wonderful yoga community - for 18 years. Let’s continue to work together to sustain our loving hearts, on and off the yoga mat, now and forever, no matter what.
Om shanti: Universal Peace to everyone everywhere.
Marit
PS I am open to counsel and aid. If that’s you, please reach out to me via director@innerfireyoga.com. ॐ